There was this married couple. The wife was very
upset because the husband was always after her
for sex. She finally got so upset she went to the
doctor to see if there was anything she could go.

The doctor told her to start charging her husband
for sex. The woman replied that she could not
charge her own husband for sex. The doctor said
just give it a try and let me know what happens.

Later that day when her husband came home, he
wanted to have sex. The wife replied, "It is
going to cost you." "WHAT?" the husband
exclaimed.

"Well it will cost you $10 to do it on the floor,
$20 to do it on the couch, and $30 to do it on
the bed."

The husband thought this over and handed his wife
$30.

She said, "Ok, come on lets go in the bedroom."

The husband replied, "No, I want it 3 times on
the floor!"
 

The Three Old Fellows
 

Three old men were talking about how much their
hands shook.

The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad,
that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face."

The second old fogey one-upped him and said, "My
hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden
yesterday, I sliced all my flowers."

The third old man laughed and said, "That's
nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I
took a piss yesterday, I came three times!"



 

A Thousand Year Punishment

A Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who
explains that the punishments are changed every
thousand years and he is to select his first
punishment.

First room has a young guy on the wall being
whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see
the next room. The next room has a middle aged
guy being tortured with fire.

The new guy immediately asks to see the third
room. It has an really old guy chained to the
wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde.

The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room.

The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on
the shoulder and says "Okay, you can stop now.
You've been relieved."