A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the
weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his
back, and had nothing left but a quarter and
the second half of his round trip ticket -- If
he could just get to the airport he could get
himself home.

He went out to the front of the casino where
there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained
his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send
the driver money from home, he offered him his
credit card numbers, his drivers license number,
his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie
said, 'If you don't have fifteen dollars, get
the hell out of my cab!'

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the
airport and was barely in time to catch his
flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked
long and hard to regain his financial success,
returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to
the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to
the airport. Who should he see out there, at the
end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who
had refused to give him a ride when he was down
on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment
about how he could make the guy pay for his lack
of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line,
'How much for a ride to the airport?' he asked.
'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply. 'And how much
for you to give me a blowjob on the way?'

'What?! Get the hell out of my cab.'

The businessman got into the back of each cab in
the long line and asked the same questions, with
the same result. When he got to his old friend at
the back of the line, he got in and asked 'How
much for a ride to the airport?'

The cabbie replied, 'fifteen bucks.' The
businessman said 'OK' and off they went.

As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs
the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up
sign to each of the other drivers.


 

The Bet

An rather elderly lady carrying a soiled lunchbag
walked into the main offices of the Chase
Mahattan Bank, went to the nearest teller's
window, plunked down the bag, and said: 'I wish
to make a deposit, but beforehand I'd like to
meet with the President of the bank'

The clerk was about to explain that this was
quite impossible, when a quick count showed there
to be somewhat over 3 million dollars in cash in
the sack!

Flabergasted at the amount, he called upstairs to
the President's office and explained the
situation to his secretary who relayed it to her
boss. The old lady was ushered upstairs into the
President's office and introductions were made.
Wondering how this old lady had come by such a
tidy sum, the President inquired:
'Are you in the stock market?'

'No'

'Play the horses then...?'

'No,...actually I do wager,...but I prefer to
bet on people.'

'I see.' said the President.

'Yes', continued the old lady,...'As a matter of
fact, I will wager you $25,000.00 dollars that by
tomorrow morning at 9 O'clock your balls will be
square!'

Speculating that he could not possibly lose the
bet, the President said: 'I'll have to take you
up on that one!'

He and the old lady shook hands and parted
company. The President was very carefull the rest
of the day and did not go out that evening to
avoid risk. Next morning as he was showering, he
checked himself and all was as it should be. He
went to work humming!

At exactly 9 O'clock the old lady was again shown
into the President's office only this time
accompanied by a distinguished looking gentleman
in an expensive suit. The woman explained, 'This
is Mr. Bartelby my attorney, I always bring him
along when dealing in large sums.'

The President acknowledged the lawyer and then
said, 'Well I hate to tell you this, but I am the
same as yesterday only $25000.00 richer!'

The old lady asked for proof, and in light of the
sum involved, the President agreed to drop his
trousers to allow the old lady to grasp his
scrotum.

At this point the attorney started to bang his
head against the President's desk with vigor.

'What's wrong with him!' asked the President.

'Oh him,' said the woman, 'I bet him $100000.00
yesterday that by 9:15 tomorrow I would have the
President of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls!'