In The Hotel Lobby

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into

a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your

breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436"
 

Husband Wife

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens
to be her husband's best friend. They make love
for hours, and afterwards, while they're just
laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the
woman's house, she picks up the receiver.

Her lover looks over at her and listens, only
hearing her side of the conversation...(She is
speaking in a cheery voice)

"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called.
Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you.
That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks,
"Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me
all about the wonderful time he's having on his
fishing trip with you."

 

Q. How do you teach a blonde math?

A. Subtract her clothes, divide her
legs and square root her.

How do they all do it

Speech pathologists do it orally.

Flutists do it sideways.

Electrical Engineers do it in parallel.

Mathematicians can do it at any angle.

Potato farmers do it with appeal.

Computer scientists simulate it.

Hackers do it when the system goes down.