|
Doctor Doctor I think I've overdone the
Viagra.
Yes, I could tell something was up.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Did you hear about the woman that didn't know the difference between
vaseline and
window putty?
A. All of her windows fell out!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone
handy.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A soldier goes to see his commanding officer to ask for a weekend pass.
"My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her."
"Permission granted." says the CO.
The soldiers friend things he'll try for a weekend pass as well, although
is wife wasn't
pregnant.
So when the CO asked why he should grant him permission, he says,
"My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you get if you cross LSD and the Pill?
A. A trip without the kids.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor Doctor how do I stand?
That's what I'm trying to work out.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Adolf Hitler was very keen on the occult, so he went to a fortune teller
hoping that the
woman could tell him how long he would live.
After careful charting, she said, "I can't predict the exact date of your
death, but I do know
that you will die on a Jewish holiday."
"And which holiday will this be?" he asked.
"It does not matter." she replied. "Any day that you die will be a Jewish
Holiday."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor Doctor my wife thinks I need treatment because I like sausages.
Well, I like sausages too.
Great. I'll bring my collection in. I've got over four hundred.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A man rushes home one day with some exciting news.
"Darling darling." he shouts. "I've found a fantastic job. £25,000 a year,
company car, five
weeks paid annual leave, private medical insurance and flexible hours."
"That's brilliant news" says his wife.
"I knew you'd be pleased." he says. "You start Monday."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor Doctor what can you prescribe for MS and impotence?
Cannabis for MS relief, and Viagra for the impotence.
Any side effects from mixing those two?
Only a few stiff joints.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A. Sun and Moon.
Q. Name 2 things you can do at a nudist beach.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A new group of men had just arrived in heaven. Saint Peter looked them
over and
ordered, "All men who were henpecked on earth, please step to the left;
all those who
were bosses in their own homes, step to the right."
The line quickly formed on the left. Only one man stepped to the right.
Peter looked at the
frail little man standing by himself and inquired, "What makes you think
you belong on that
side ?"
"Because this is where my wife told me to stand."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals
A. Phillipe Filop
------------------------------------------------------------------
|