Trained Dogs

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were
dining at the country club one day, and the
conversation turned to the subject of their
respective dogs, which were apparently quite
extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had
the most intelligent dog. The physician
offered to show his dog first, and called to
the parking lot, 'Hippocrates, come!'
Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor
to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf
course and dug for a while, producing a number
of bones. He dragged the bones into the country
club, and assembled them into a complete, fully
articulated human skeleton. The physician patted
Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie
for his efforts.

The architect was only marginally impressed,
and called for his dog, 'Sliderule, come!'
Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.
The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to
rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a
scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect
patted his dog and gave him a cookie.

The attorney watched the other two dogs,
and called 'Bullshit, come!' Bullshit entered
and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit
immediately sodomized the other two dogs, stole
their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to
the other club members for his fee, and went
outside to play golf.
 

Husband Missing

A wife went to the police station with her next
door neighbor to report that her husband was
missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, 'He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark
eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs
185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the
children.'

The next-door neighbor protested, 'Your husband
is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big
mouth, and is mean to your children.'

The wife replied, 'Yes, but who wants HIM back?'