Marriage Humor
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man,
after marriage she
suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so
much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now
he is going thru hell.
3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ".
Next day, he received a
hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with
a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure
he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't
promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man
wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep
yours."
7. What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife."
"What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." "But
that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."
8. WOMAN
When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her.
When
she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her.
When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her.
When
she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.
9. MAN
At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little
to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once
in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and
cheap.
10. In the beginning, -- God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
